Conservative Talking Points

Sheesh! - Apparently, nobody can please Osama Bin Laden. In his newest "Jihadist Gone Wild" video the terrorist nut rails against everybody from Bush to Richard Pearle to the Democrats??? Yep, Osama was very disappointed in the performance of the Democrats since they have taken office. Well, Osama, everyone has been disappointed in the Democrats since they took office, but thankfully your disappointment is at least a boon for the often weak-on-terror Democrats.

Used To Be - We thought you were cool Oprah, but instead you gave Obama all kinds of headlines this week as you hosted a gala fundraiser for the weak presidential candidate. I suppose the intention of the Obama campaign henceforth will be to draw comparisons between the two, so I figured why not contribute to those comparisons? Oprah gives away presents to her constituency; Obama gives headaches to his constituencies. Oprah's foreign policy draws comparisons to Mother Teresa while Obama's foreign policy draws comparisons to Teresa Heinz-Kerry. Am I missing any? Let me know.

Conundrum - It was revealed that the British have been experimenting with human/animal hybrid cells in an effort to remove stem cells. Naturally, as protectors of life, Conservatives will step back and wish to analyze this. However, this poses a conundrum for the other side. If you are a liberal because you are a radical animal rights activist, how can you allow them to do this to the animals that you value more than human life? If you are a liberal because you enjoy the destruction of life, how can you allow them to not fully kill human cells and instead mix them with animals? Choices...choices.

Tipper's Tips - Tipper Gore titillated lefties this week as she announced that she would like to see her husband on the 08 ticket for President. Where did she announce this? Where any good Hollywood couple would announce such things--Vanity Fair. I'm going to put this rumor to rest once again. Al Gore is no longer a politician; he is a Hollywood oddity. Therefore, just as the idea of Tom Cruise, or any other Hollywood lefty isn't news, neither is this. I banish you Tipper back to the vault of Hollywood spouses from whence you came!

Ugh, not Again - Global Warming strikes again! This time a scientist says that it might be affecting your heart. Wow, really? I'm full of questions now. Where do these scientists come from? Who is their publicist??? Does Global Warming also affect my blood pressure because I'm feeling angry whenever I read about another crackpot scientist and his groundless theories??? Does the Global Warming lobby realize what these "credible" scientists do to their credibility?