Conservative Talking Points

Yikes! - It has long been speculated that Obama is merely running in order to become Hillary's VP. I always believed that Obama's statements were not very Presidential sounding and rather far-fetched, but heck, he's a Democrat so that's to be expected. But this week, Obama made a convincing argument to be Hillary's running mate by reiterating his support for sex-ed for kindergarteners. Obama says this can be done if it is "age-appropriate". That sounds like a Clinton White House. Maybe they can revise the Starr report and use that as a textbook; it's already fairly animated.

Don't Cry Argentina - A candidate running for President of Argentina kicked off her campaign last week with a highlight reel featuring three world heavyweights, Hugo Chavez, Shakira, and Senator Hillary Clinton. Is there something that Argentina knows that we don't know? Wait a second; does Argentina connect communist programs and sexual promiscuity with the Clinton White House? How could they?

Shedding Pounds - It was announced that two crewmen on the International Space Station will be dumping 1,600 pounds of obsolete gear that will quickly burn up in the Earth's atmosphere. Now I've seen the movie Armageddon and I've heard Al Gore. So let's just save a lot of time and bickering and jettison Gore into space to solve this newest global warming "crisis".

All In The Marketing - Many Americans are probably skeptical about John Edwards's latest political stunt, titled "The Poverty Tour". Minor credibility problems have arisen from the long-time trial lawyer and short-time Senator such as his $6 million dollar house, $400 haircut, and his work at a hedge fund. I say call a donkey a donkey. Let's help Edwards out and rename this quagmire the "Rich Guy Looking For Hired Help Tour".

Poor Guy - It was reported this past week that Washington's water supply has chlorine pollutants. Thankfully, it appears that only one man was adversely affected from the water--Senator Harry Reid. Senator Reid has been affected with a tragic case of complete lack of direction. This disease that has affected all aspects of his leadership has slowed the Senate to a crawl and made tangible progress on Iraq completely unworkable. Get well soon Majority Leader; get well soon.