Conservative Talking Points

As our nation celebrates Independence Day on July 4th 2007, Republicans must look back to July 4, 1776 to truly appreciate that the Democrats weren't in charge during the Revolution:

Boston Tea Party - Democrats would have spent countless hours analyzing and debating the necessity of the Tea Tax. As far as the tea goes, the only protest they would have mounted would have been against the revolutionaries for the detrimental global warming effect that tea would pose via the Boston harbor.

Thirteen United Colonies - Although they would have agreed to fight together, the Democrats would have been troubled by the independent nature of these colonies and insisted that they instead be called the "Thirteen United Colonies - Led by the Wiser and More Intellectual Eastern Colonies".

Traitors to the Crown - When King George declared all Americans to be "Traitors to the Crown", Democrats would have led a peace building/unity mission around the globe to make sure that we were still popular with other famous dictators such as Louis XVI.

National Debt - Wars cost money, and the United States found itself with a debt of about 80 million dollars, which was a significant sum for the 18th century. Democrats would have immediately rectified the situation by taxing the Founders: Ben Franklin, author of "Poor Richard's Almanac", would have been literally quite poor.

Constitutional Convention - An important time for America, but sadly, if Democrats had been in control, it would have been an unproductive event. Ideas, ideas, and more ideas were the staple of the Convention and hence the Democrats usual mantra of opposition, opposition, and more opposition would have only turned the faces of most Americans quite red.