Democratic Talking Points

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolfowitz--The administration's principal architect of the Iraq war seems to have brought his search for WMD's--Weapons of Moral Destruction--into the World Bank. Patsy's Cline's signature song, "Stand by your man", was overheard outside of the Oval Office right before White House spokesman Dana Perino went on the record as saying that Wolfowitz has President Bush's "full confidence".

Where's Waldo?--The latest Where's Waldo book has Waldo looking for the lost Karl Rove emails. I never give the Administration the benefit of the doubt, but in the case of the lost emails, I think the time has finally come. Why can't the press and other Democrats simply accept the explanation of gross incompetence on the part of the RNC and the White House? I think it's time to give the "gang that couldn't shoot straight" a pass this time. They really can't do anything right, which is quite sad for the Conservative-in-Chief and his staff.

FEMA to hire noted psychic--Noted TV medium, Patricia Arquette, is being used as a consultant by FEMA to determine where to stockpile food for the 2007 hurricane season. After millions of prepared meals were stockpiled by FEMA in 2006 for disasters that never occurred and left to rot in inadequate storage facilities, FEMA has decided to bring in Arquette to make sure they're not caught with their pants down this time around. Of course, the food that spoiled was not supposed to spoil--it's the same food that is being sent to our troops in Iraq and is supposed to be "spoil proof".

He's not a screwball!!!--Once again President Bush declined to throw out the opening pitch in the National's home opener. Some say he has never recovered from the criticism he received in 2005 from a vocal fan who shouted from the stands, "What a screwball!" Even though the fan was referring to Bush's pitch, the President took the remark personally.

A TENTative solution--With hundreds of thousands of homes being foreclosed due to unregulated, predatory mortgage companies, a reliable source has confirmed that the Bush administration plans to call upon the Boy Scouts of America to set up tents for all of these displaced families on vacant land surrounding toxic waste dumps. To avoid charges of favoritism, though, the helpless and economically distressed mortgage brokers will receive tax rebates.