Democratic Talking Points

Sorry, Wrong Number--In the middle of Rudy Giuliani's speech to the NRA, he supposedly received a cell phone call from his wife--at least he said it was from his wife. More likely, it was a call from his campaign manager telling him something like, "Shut up, Rudy. The gig is up. They know you're a liberal." Next time you speak to the NRA, Rudy, schedule yourself after happy hour, not before. Only a drunken NRA member would believe you're opposed to gun control

Only in America--At last week's press conference, President Bush said about Condi Rice, "She's the Ph.D. and I'm the C student, and just look at who's the President and who's the advisor." Then, when asked about a possible recession, he replied, "I think I got a B in Econ 101." Finally, he responded to a question about whether he is an asset or liability for Republicans seeking election next year with the terse remark, "Strong asset." With assets like George, who needs liabilities?

Frostbitten--The longer the investigation of Sen. Ted Stevens continues, the worse it looks for the Senator from Alaska. In fact, he's starting to show signs of cerebral frostbite. When asked to comment upon the investigation, he refused because he said he didn't want it to look like he is trying to influence the corruption probe. Don't worry, Ted. Your days of "influence" are over.

Money can't buy you love--Newt says he'll run if his supporters pledge 30 or 40 million bucks so he can compete with Romney's checkbook. Sorry, Newt. It's too late for even you to turn the Titanic around. In an effort to steer this sorry ship directly into an iceberg, the GOP's presidential candidates all declined to participate at a recent African American forum. After dissing America's Hispanics a few weeks ago, who's left? Is there anyone left to alienate?

If at first you don't succeed, cheat--As part of the Bush Administration's war on terror, the DHS is funding an initiative to detect nuclear devices. This key anti-terrorism initiative had been delayed because DHS officials misled Congress about the effectiveness of new detection devices developed by private contractors. The DHS has now solved the problem by "helping" private contractors by giving them the information they need to pass the evaluation tests. Another victory in Bush's war on terror.