Democratic Talking Points

Wait Until Dark--With Americans ingesting a chop suey of Chinese contaminants in their food, drugs and toys, the Bush administration is finally starting to focus on the health and safety of U.S. citizens (except uninsured children). The FDA is proposing new labels for sunscreens. The new protection levels are "1" for highest, "2" for high, "3" for medium, and "4" for low. Democrats are proposing an additional level "5" for Bush political appointees, who need no UVA or UVB protection since most of the time they're in the dark.

The Republican Party goes to Sesame Street--Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch were observed giving counting lessons to Tom Cole, chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), after Cole sent out a fundraising email saying it's 16 months to Election Day when it's actually only 15. Cole was overheard expressing his appreciation to Oscar for the counting lessons, and Oscar told him that he's looking forward to more NRCC emails, "because I love trash"!

He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not--First, President Bush says with regard to the Maliki government, "If the government doesn't respond to the demands of the people, they will replace the government." Then, the President calls Maliki, "a good man with a difficult job." Good Morning, Vietnam!!!!!

True Grit--While the Federal Reserve is doing all it can to protect all of those helpless, altruistic mortgage companies, our fearless President has been down on the ranch clearing brush, mountain biking, and doing his best Teddy Roosevelt impersonation. The highlight of his vacation had to be the traditional 3-mile run for Secret Service, military and White House staff in 104 degree heat. Bush didn't run himself, but gave the joggers a pep talk. That's the difference between you and Teddy, Mr. President. With Teddy we heard "Bully" when he led the charge up San Juan Hill. With you we only hear Bull--t.

Thank you, Mr. President!--As we orchestrate a decisive regime change in November of 2008, we have been faced with how to appeal to the NRA crowd, fisherman, and hunters. We don't need a strategy, though. We've got the Bush administration which has just proposed regulations that will stop requiring coal operators to prove that their surface mining will not damage streams, fish and wildlife.