Democratic Talking Points

Bush's Rubber Ducky Armada--After the bombing of the USS Cole, the Navy decided to shield all U.S. ships by building rings of floating, rubberized barriers. Millions of dollars later, studies show the barriers are prone to leaks that can cause them to deflate faster than you can say "Quack"! The War on Terror continues...

Beam Him Up, Bushy!--The Great Decider withdrew his nomination of Michael Baroody, Executive V.P. of the National Association of Manufacturers, to be Chairman of the Consumer Product Safety Commission. For some reason, Baroody just couldn't overcome objections to his close connections to manufacturers. Never fear. Jack Kevorkian goes free on June 1st and is looking for a new job now that he has lost his medical license.

Chinese Roulette or the Drug in Food Administration--The Food and Drug Administration is having difficulty checking toxins in Chinese food imports into the U.S. Of course, FDA inspectors check less than 1% of all Chinese food imports. I guess the FDA figures it can find tainted Chinese food through the autopsy reports of poisoned Americans.

What's My Line?--Monica Goodling has admitted she "crossed the line" in hiring Justice Dept. attorneys based upon politics. Sorry, Monica! You didn't cross the line. The line was crossed two years before you were hired when political considerations were used to screen applicants for immigration court judgeships. President Bush dismissed all of these ethical concerns by declaring, "It's just grand political theater." Unfortunately, President Bush's idea of theater is the Grand Ole Opry.

Luck Be a Lady Tonight--After predictions from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration that the 2007 hurricane season could be devastating, Michael Chertoff was quoted as saying, "It is a big mistake to count on being lucky. You're much better off preparing yourself for the worst, and then if you get lucky, that's a bonus." Speaking of disasters, FEMA is still trying to figure out how much to charge for trailers, selling some of them for $1.00 and some for $20,000. Michael Chertoff is right. Luck has nothing to do with it.