Democratic Talking Points

Cheney does Bogie—Doing his best Bogie impression yet, Dick talked tough to Iran last week on an aircraft carrier in the Gulf: "We'll disrupt attacks on our own forces! We'll continue bringing relief to those who suffer and delivering justice...". Speaking of justice, the Washington Post reported simultaneously how the Bush administration is dealing with the deficit by blocking measures to provide financial and medical aid to thousands of nuclear arms workers who are seeing their cancer claims denied or delayed. People who glow in the dark generally don't vote Republican.

Pass me a Cup of Compassion—While Dick Cheney was doing his vaudeville act in the Gulf, President Bush was speaking at St. Vincent College in PA: "No matter what your interests, no matter what your skills, there is a place for every one of you to serve in our armies--our nation's armies of compassion". New Orleans is still waiting for any sign of those troops on the horizon, Mr. President--especially since the federally funded program for rebuilding Louisiana homes destroyed by Katrina is short about 3 billion bucks.

Taking the Fifth—Alberto Gonzales' former aid, Monica "Joan of Arc" Goodling, has now been granted immunity to testify before Congress about the firings of U.S attorneys at the Justice Department. Previously she had invoked her Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. Now that she is expected to tell all, Albert Gonzales is expected to take the Fifth--a Fifth of Scotch.

The Ten Commandments—I've always been opposed to the public display of The Ten Commandments on government property, but I'm starting to rethink my opinion. The Center for American Progress reported that the value of federal contracts awarded without competitive bidding has grown from $67 billion to $145 billion since Bush took office in 2000. I now am in favor of displaying The Ten Commandments in the offices of Bush political appointees as long as "Thou shall not Steal" is given a border of flashing neon lights.

White History Month—Attorney Jay Apperson was recently hired by Jeffery Taylor, the top federal prosecutor for the District of Columbia. During a stint as an asst. U.S. attorney in VA in the 1990's, Apperson thought it amusing to suggest creating a White History Month as a counterpoint to Black History Month. Taylor's response? "For gosh sakes, everybody deserves a second chance." Justice really is blind--when it comes to Republicans.