Democratic Talking Points

Where the rubber doesn't meet the road--The ACLU and the Sexuality Information and Education Council are criticizing federally funded, abstinence-only education programs for providing scientifically inaccurate information about the safety and reliability of condoms. In addition, the war in Iraq is taking its toll on federally funded birth control programs--they no longer are allowed to associate the word "withdrawal" with birth control.

A.W.O.L--A search party has been mounted by the Senate to find Senator John McCain. April 12th was the last time he was seen on the Senate floor. Rumor has it that he was out on the campaign trail calling for Victory in Iraq while missing the key Senate vote on the Iraq spending bill and the Senate vote on the confirmation of Gen. David Petraeus. The search party is concentrating on Jerry Falwell's neighborhood, but the McCain train was last seen in Mr. Roger's neighborhood.

Rudy "Better Dead than Red" Giuliani--Taking a page out of the Republican Party's winning 2006 playbook, Rudy has criticized Democratic universal health care proposals as "socialism". Rudy's solution is to give people "vouchers". Now there's a well thought out plan. When a poor person arrives at an emergency room, they're going to give him an "IOU" for medical care and two aspirins.

The War on Terror--Good news finally on the progress of the Bush administration's war on terror. Only a 29% percent increase in the number of terrorist attacks around the world was reported last year, according to the State Department's annual report on terrorism. Officials say that almost all of the increase in 2006 was due to attacks in Afghanistan and Iraq. Condoleezza Rice had considered postponing the release of this good news until a more appropriate time--like after the 2008 election.

Geography 101--Hundreds of millions of dollars in Katrina aid from foreign countries were not used by the Bush administration or were wasted, according to newly released documents. The administration is putting safeguards in place to ensure the mistakes made by FEMA never happen again. According to new administration protocols, all FEMA employees in the future are going to be required to learn where Louisiana is located, so emergency supplies don't wind up in places like Arkansas.